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Global Moderator
Posts: 6730/7404
Donated $41.00
(15-Dec-2004 at 19:57)


question Are you going to heaven?

About 20 minutes ago I was sitting here listening to my music as I always do when I hear the doorbell, I check to see if a car is in the driveway which there IS... it's not a familar car so I rush to the door and open it to find three big women in their 50's. I say "Hello..?" and the first thing the (lets call her the leader) said was "Do you think your going to heaven?" and at first I'm thinking in my head (are they going to kill me?) and then I reply "Hell No!" without thinking about the hell part really and then they all look at eachother and say well I can help you find God through the bible it will only take me 10 minutes. I look at her, she looks at me... I'm wearing the punisher shirt which should of scared her off in the first place so then wanting these religious nuts off my property I say "Do you hear that music?" (I think Killswitch Engage was playing at the time and with my stereo you can here it outside) and she replies: "Yes, sir" then I said "Satan is my god" then smirk. They look at eachother again in disgust then say "Sorry we bothered you" then quickly walked away not even giving me the papers they were ready to hand me the whole time.

The moral of the story? Don't fuck with Dave. Call this the door-to-door version of Valek's guide to Anti-telemarketing

BUD LIGHT
145847903/Davevalek/Insanity
I am one of a kind, the only one you'll find. I am me and nothing else...
#1  
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:01)


Lol, we don't see them around here often, but I'm definitly gonna try that out next time

~~Tak~~

~~Proud Owner and Admin of Final-Destruction~~
#2  
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:01)
WOW!
wish i could come up with an answer like that the next time someone bothers me.

"This day will die tonight and there ain't no exception
Why should I wait for nothing to wait for"
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:10)


lightbulb

Normally I would go into a deep discussion with these one sided ignorant slaves of God with something along the lines of "If you can prove to me within the next *looks at watch even if your not wearing one* 30 seconds God exist and there is a heaven I will go to/pay/say whatever the hell you want but I wasn't in the mood for the waste of time it would have been.

BUD LIGHT
145847903/Davevalek/Insanity
I am one of a kind, the only one you'll find. I am me and nothing else...
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:11)


AWESOME! Good call Dave You never cease to make us proud.

Well maybe next time I'll use your 30 second approach.

Destroyer

Last edited by Darkest Sinner, 15-Dec-2004 at 20:12.
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:15)


Oh you'd better not do this with my religion teacher around you..
He'd convince you in no time (errr.. I wanted to say you're going to be pestered to the brink of madness in no time hehe).
I can't stand people like these (though they are funny sometimes).

I can see what you see not. Vision milky then eyes rot.
When you turn they will be gone, whispering their hidden song.
Then you see what cannot be, shadows move where light should be.
Out of darkness, out of mind, cast down into the Halls of the Blind.
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:19)


exclamation mark

Quote:
(Originally posted by Lightstalker)

Oh you'd better not do this with my religion teacher around you..
He'd convince you in no time
You don't know me very well then, I am very stubborn and unsane. =) I say and do before thinking so chances are he would walk away frightened, either that or I can convince him there is not a God.

BUD LIGHT
145847903/Davevalek/Insanity
I am one of a kind, the only one you'll find. I am me and nothing else...
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:31)


Haha, Bible nazis...gotta love'em.

I usually get confronted with half-a-dozen walking around campus each semester. I had one guy go off on how how mini skirts were the devil. LOL.

"Intelligence is like a 4-wheel drive: It just allows you
to get stuck in more remote places ..." (G. Keillor)
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(15-Dec-2004 at 20:49)


Quote:
(Originally posted by Valek)

5. Talk in some foreign language, if they forward you to a translator talk in English and act oblivious.
Gonna try that if I study abroad (and I plan to do so)

Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.
~ Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill ~
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(Posted as cryptica)
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(15-Dec-2004 at 21:31)


Eh....well I don't like it when people who go door-to-door like that, but I'm not sure if your dealing with it was exactly...good.

But, ah, yeah. Satan is your god? I don't think he qualifies as a god anyways...

Due to recent complications with mods arguing about my forum title *cough*valek*cough*, its validity will be decided pending further investigation.
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(15-Dec-2004 at 21:34)


lazy smile

Satan isn't my God, but it surely got them to leave.

BUD LIGHT
145847903/Davevalek/Insanity
I am one of a kind, the only one you'll find. I am me and nothing else...
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(Posted as cryptica)
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(15-Dec-2004 at 21:36)


Quote:
(Originally posted by Valek)

Satan isn't my God, but it surely got them to leave.

Haha...true enough. Can't fault you for being annoyed.

Due to recent complications with mods arguing about my forum title *cough*valek*cough*, its validity will be decided pending further investigation.
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(Posted as Wenceschal)
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(15-Dec-2004 at 21:42)


content You really showed them!

They were probably just a bunch of those Christians...

how dare a group of old ladies threaten you with a little book like that!

You really showed them!
who do think they are? You are a mod after all..that'll count for something at the Judgment, I'm sure..just like S&H stamps will...

Trust me, you won't get bothered by any of those annoying Christians in Hell.

*this post was typed with sarcasm selector set to awesome*
#13  
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(Posted as cryptica)
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(15-Dec-2004 at 21:48)


Hey man, can we keep the anti-christian talk down? They never mentioned Jesus, at least from what Valek said, so they could be any religion. Do your bashing elsewhere, please.

Due to recent complications with mods arguing about my forum title *cough*valek*cough*, its validity will be decided pending further investigation.
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(15-Dec-2004 at 21:51)


exclamation mark Re: You really showed them!

Quote:
(Originally posted by Wenceschal)

They were probably just a bunch of those Christians...

how dare a group of old ladies threaten you with a little book like that!

You really showed them!
who do think they are? You are a mod after all..that'll count for something at the Judgment, I'm sure..just like S&H stamps will...

Trust me, you won't get bothered by any of those annoying Christians in Hell.

*this post was typed with sarcasm selector set to awesome*
Your not getting the point, I don't care who you are or what religion it is. Unless they were at my door to give me something cool for free they can fuck off for all I care. This is hell... when you die you go to heaven. BUT this isn't a religious discussion and I would really mind if it turns into one.

BUD LIGHT
145847903/Davevalek/Insanity
I am one of a kind, the only one you'll find. I am me and nothing else...
#15  
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(15-Dec-2004 at 21:57)


Heh, I'm hoping too this doesn't get into a religious discussion

Haha...That's funny Dave!! Granted..if you said that to me at the door...sayin Satan is your God...that wouldn't make me scared and run away...lol

*grins*
haha, Yea some of those people get annoying. lol

I Live by my siggy
*pokes Dave* I'd give ya something for free if I arrived at your door

*quickly leaves before her hyperness goes into overdrive*

Decisionsarehell'swayofsayinghello,
remindingmethat'swhereI'mgoingnomatterwhatIdo,
solivelifeanddowhatyouwant.
#16  
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(15-Dec-2004 at 22:04)


Ahh, I can't even wait till I meet some of those "We will safe yer soul" types, just so I can be a pain in the ass...

I'm a satanic bastard who frequently uses small babies to try and summon demons. But enough about me, how much will you pay me to babysit those two adorable little chunks of meat there?
#17  
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(Posted as kensterz)
Posts: 27/27
(15-Dec-2004 at 22:45)


Regarding the Anti-Telemarketing thing. These guys plagiarized from you:

www.thebluehen.com/story.aspx?story=26
www.thegopherweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=48
www.thespartanweb.com/story.aspx?story=13

They're all the same



"For the Word of GOD is full of living power."

-Hebrews 4 : 12
#18  
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(15-Dec-2004 at 23:07)


You know what? I would love for someone to try that on me. Not the evangelizing thing, but the thing you did. I think that I would either annoy them or weird them out, cause I wouldn't back down. Anyway, I'm kinda surprised that made those people back down. It woulda encouraged me. I mean, even more of a reason to minister, wouldn't you agree?

^But if you like, you can just take that as a warning... not all people may back down as quickly

[size=2.2]The true power of the Bubblehead is yet to be revealed...[/size]
#19  
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(Posted as Lord Drizzt)
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(15-Dec-2004 at 23:10)


Valek, you're crazy.

s o u l f i r e
#20  
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