[advocatus GoD]

After much consideration I have come to this conclusion, Heaven is down. How did I come to this conclusion you ask? Well, my logic is simple. At a funeral your buried ~6 feet in the ground. Then, a priest prays that you go to heaven. So according to the "right" interpretation of "Heaven and Hell", they're burying you ~6 feet into the ground, ~6 feet closer to Hell, then praying you go to Heaven. That makes no sense. The only possible, and remotely reasonable conclusion is tha Heaven is down and they bury you ~6 feet into the ground so your 6 feet closer to Heaven then they pray that you go the rest of the way to Heaven.

[Fallacy]

Should I be worried that when I read this I thought it was some kind of server?

And back on topic... Since when has religion been logical?! Prayer = supplication to {deity} who = omnipotent being. 6 foot is not exactly a big distance for an omnipotent being. Some religions say its below us, some say its above. Christians say its above as far as I know.

[advocatus GoD]

Originally Posted by Fallacy:

Should I be worried that when I read this I thought it was some kind of server?

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Originally Posted by fallacy:

And back on topic... Since when has religion been logical?! Prayer = supplication to {deity} who = omnipotent being. 6 foot is not exactly a big distance for an omnipotent being. Some religions say its below us, some say its above. Christians say its above as far as I know.

True... religion doesn't make sense.. the whole "immaculate conception" (I hope I spelled that right) is some serious issues. God is Mary's father, but also her sons father

[Fallacy]

Yeah, religion sucks... Its like God is the original inbreeder

I wonder how long we can keep this up before the RD nuts sniff it out

[advocatus GoD]

Originally Posted by Fallacy:

Yeah, religion sucks... Its like God is the original inbreeder

I wonder how long we can keep this up before the RD nuts sniff it out

It is our sworn duty to keep it LA worthy... assist in this

[Burningboy]

I remember hearing that in Antartica they believe that Heaven actually IS below ground, because it's warm, whereas Hell is in the sky because that's where storms and blizzard come from. Makes a weird kind of sense, too.

[MAPS]

Originally Posted by Advocatus GoD:

It is our sworn duty to keep it LA worthy... assist in this

But...it's not LA worthy. It just annoys me.

You made this thread just to annoy me, didn't you?

[advocatus GoD]

Originally Posted by MAPS:

But...it's not LA worthy. It just annoys me.

You made this thread just to annoy me, didn't you?

Ahh!! You have discovered my master plan! How did you do this? Tell me your methods!!

[MAPS]

Well, I figured that since I'm so great, it's only logical to assume everything everyone else does is about me.

As for Heaven...

*cue slow, emotion inspiring violin music*

...maybe Heaven isn't above or below us. Maybe Heaven is right here on earth. We just have to work together at it. I think, maybe, if we all were brave enough to reach out a helping hand to that poor stranger on the street, if we all could just find the time of day to give a smile and kind word to someone, if we all just cared a little more about others, well, that would be enough. It isn't hard to be happy. We just need to let go of our hate and let it happen.

*audience sniffles and tears of joy stream down the cheeks of all*

[advocatus GoD]

Originally Posted by MAPS:

*audience sniffles and tears of joy stream down the cheeks of all*

*chokes on tears and with everyone else distracted by the emotional thought provoking speech by MAPS proceeds to die. Angel rises up from body but due to threads topic is confused in which direction heaven is. Angel decided to re-join body. Proceeds to get up, wipe off shoulders, and walks to McDonalds*

[Lunor]

Maybe it's just me, but burying someone is a lot easier in the ground, then having to make a construction somewhere in the air to bury them in.
Especially in the olden days. So maybe it's just tradition. God, being omnipotent and all, can grab ya from anywhere, so it's better to bury someone so they don't start rotting and stinking in plain sight.

Yes yes I know you might be "kidding", but it's a ridiculous thread, and your statement isn't funny, nor very well thought-out, in my opinion.

(Yes I know, keep these kinds of comments to myself next time. No one cares.)

[advocatus GoD]

Originally Posted by wtfX:

Maybe it's just me, but burying someone is a lot easier in the ground, then having to make a construction somewhere in the air to bury them in.
Especially in the olden days. So maybe it's just tradition. God, being omnipotent and all, can grab ya from anywhere, so it's better to bury someone so they don't start rotting and stinking in plain sight.

Yes yes I know you might be "kidding", but it's a ridiculous thread, and your statement isn't funny, nor very well thought-out, in my opinion.

(Yes I know, keep these kinds of comments to myself next time. No one cares.)

*watches as thread dies a slow, horrible (and premature) death*

[Konc]

Originally Posted by Advocatus GoD:

At a funeral your buried ~6 feet in the ground. Then, a priest prays that you go to heaven. So according to the "right" interpretation of "Heaven and Hell", they're burying you ~6 feet into the ground, ~6 feet closer to Hell, then praying you go to Heaven.

You've never tried to shoot a rubber band at someone, have you? If you had, you'd know that you can't just have it fly towards your target, you have to pull it back a bit to get some tension, to accumulate some power.

[yongwe]

Originally Posted by Starfriend:

You've never tried to shoot a rubber band at someone, have you? If you had, you'd know that you can't just have it fly towards your target, you have to pull it back a bit to get some tension, to accumulate some power.

Yes, that's what I thought too. When we die, we all become rubber band and ready to be shot up to heaven.

[rexregum]

No, surely we are just the ammunition in the catapult of prayer raised at the Pearly Gates...

[Lord Menchalior]

Originally Posted by Fallacy:

Yeah, religion sucks... Its like God is the original inbreeder

I wonder how long we can keep this up before the RD nuts sniff it out

*smells religious discussion as shark smells drop of blood* Nah, too late... ^^

Down goes body, soul goes up... or then way, way, waaaaaaayyyy more down, depending on how well you have been behaved and for such few minor details you can find from Bible ^^

[Drunken Penguin]

Originally Posted by Burningboy:

I remember hearing that in Antartica they believe that Heaven actually IS below ground, because it's warm, whereas Hell is in the sky because that's where storms and blizzard come from. Makes a weird kind of sense, too.

They is Antartica? People have lived there long enough to make such a culture

[advocatus GoD]

Originally Posted by Drunken Penguin:

They is Antartica? People have lived there long enough to make such a culture

Uhhh... yea! Escimos!

[demi]

you're all wrong!! The chances of people going to hell is higher than heaven. People is bury to go hell faster. If your priest thinks you're worthy of heaven you're put in a catapult

[advocatus GoD]

Quote:

If your priest thinks you're worthy of heaven you're put in a catapult

I don't think that has ever happened... Maybe extreme medieval tactics, you know, run out of boulders or Bill is really getting on your nerves that particular day. Well, with that said, I think we are all damned to burn in Hell for all eternity. Awesome!