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Posts: 482/1007
Donated $1.92
(11-Mar-2003 at 03:23)
English is a Crazy Language

These are taken from an essay of the same name:

Food:

There is no butter in buttermilk, no egg in eggplant, no grape in grapefruit, neither worms nor wood in wormwood, neither pine nor apple in pineapple, neither peas nor nuts in peanuts, and no ham in hamburger.

Animals:

greyhounds arent always gray, koala bears aren't bears, a groundhog is not a hog, a horned toad is a lizard, glowworms are fireflies, but fireflies are not flies (they're beetles), a guinea pig is neither a pig or from guinea, and a titmouse is neither a mammal nor mammarized.

Gender:

A women can man a station but a man can't woman one. A man can father a movement but a woman can't mother one. A king can rule a kingdom but a queen can't rule a queendom.

Other:

A writer is someone who writes, a stinger is something that stings, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, hammers don't ham, and humdingers don't humding. If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldnt the plural of booth be beeth? One goose, two geese, so one moose, two meese?

If we conceive a conception and recieve at a reception, why don't we grieve a greption and believe a beleption? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, does a humanitarian eat humans?

My favorite: If pro and con are opposites, is congress the opposite of progress?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?

If button and unbutton and tie and untie are the same, why are loosen and unloosen and ravel and unravel the same?

Theres more, but no wonder why people have a heard time learning english.

Simply another American opposed to Bush
#1  
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Posts: 10/11
(11-Mar-2003 at 03:35)


roflmfao

thats great, gotta love those funny things about english

Slave of the Sexy Silvre
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#2  
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(Posted as Psychic Friend)
Posts: 1386/2489
Donated $1.28
(11-Mar-2003 at 03:37)


If it is 0 degrees one day, and is supposed to be twice as cold the next day, what will the temperature be tomorrow? I knew a bunch more... I'll post them when I remember.

"If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and if it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
~Alexandr Solzhenitsyn
#3  
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Posts: 482/1007
Donated $1.92
(11-Mar-2003 at 03:40)
One other one I should have put...

Doesn't it seem weird that we go to the bathroom in order to go to the bathroom?

Simply another American opposed to Bush
#4  
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(Posted as DaMo X)
Posts: 746/1315
(11-Mar-2003 at 04:07)


Re: English is a Crazy Language

Quote:
(Originally posted by Creoena)

and humdingers don't humding.
Hahahahaha.... lol. Your Right

Hello
#5  
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(11-Mar-2003 at 05:44)


The word Politics comes from the Greek root Poli, meaning Many, and Tics, meaning blood sucking parasites.

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Able to file 1040's faster than a speeding bullet
#6  
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(Posted as pxpxpunx)
Posts: 346/1188
(11-Mar-2003 at 06:10)


english is stupid.


Dont be too open minded, your brains will fall out.
dyslexics have more fnu.
when your not looking, my post is in spanish.
#7  
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(User is Banned)
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Donated $2.77
(11-Mar-2003 at 06:15)


Well, lets make our own language..

The Kittens of Playfulness
Fire and Ice
Tails Entwined in Fun and Love
SilvreWolf My love, I am yours
#8  
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(User is Banned)
Posts: 45/316
(11-Mar-2003 at 06:46)


english isnt stupid, its english. deal with it.

a few bazillion ppl do...

MEE GO UP UG HAFLENHOUSEN! (new laangueage for see how hard it is to make a new language?)

A proud member of the UT Atheist Community
Must we use these colourful pieces of text known as signatures to display our allegiance?

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#9  
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(17-Mar-2003 at 03:50)


The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square. One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not
one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

What is the point of a signature when the only one who actually signs their name is Gwill. Ban me now!

Last edited by DarkSkies X, 17-Mar-2003 at 06:28.
#10  
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(Posted as MagusofLight)
Posts: 110/1441
(17-Mar-2003 at 04:03)


ive wondered about it too.

another: Your cool and too hot to handle!

This too will pass
#11  
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Posts: 15/16
(17-Mar-2003 at 06:24)
english is very funny. penis in latin means tail. how crazy is that. crazzzzzzzy.

and why is asprin not called mouthsprin because it goes in your mouth.
#12  
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Posts: 215/239
(17-Mar-2003 at 11:19)


AH! Pointless philosophy!

If you tie a slice of bread(butter up) on the back of a cat, and rop it from the second floor

What will happen?


If I say "I always lie" what do I mean?

I am the ninja, you cant see me
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(Posted as Ldy KyrinaMarie)
Posts: 155/329
(17-Mar-2003 at 18:22)


Quote:
(Originally posted by Go0ey)
and why is asprin not called mouthsprin because it goes in your mouth.
Actually to give the answer to this question, though I'm sure it's a retorical one, Aspirin is another word for acetylsalicylic acid, which is it's technical name.

So that's your medical lesson of the day....

LVL 80 Draenei Shaman
Alliance FTW!!!
#14  
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(Posted as bastone)
Posts: 265
(17-Mar-2003 at 18:30)


lazy smile

English. Englist is my first and only language. i like english with out it we would be englishless.
#15  
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(17-Mar-2003 at 18:36)
Don't bother about English being a strange language, i can assure you the Dutch list of strange things is kilometers longer!
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(Posted as Sossy ToD)
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Posts: 88/1859
Donated $22.00
(17-Mar-2003 at 18:40)


Hehe I hate the fact that sometimes when talking Danish (my own language) there are words I know in english but can't remember in Danish :-/

That is plain SILLY!


Hmmmm... I think I need a new signature
#17  
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Donated $1.12
(17-Mar-2003 at 18:47)
Quote:
(Originally posted by DarkSkies X)

Well, lets make our own language..
Tried that... it's not that much fun ... noone understands(duh)

Quote:
(Originally posted by TeeJay)Don't bother about English being a strange language, i can assure you the Dutch list of strange things is kilometers longer!
*agrees*
#18  
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(Posted as Matchu S)
Posts: 684/780
(17-Mar-2003 at 19:37)


Quote:
(Originally posted by DvdStn of Z)


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

Teachers teach, taught is a past tense verb. Preachers preach. Preached is the past tense verb if you are trying to make a connection.

America, GB and Australia..3 huge countrys..english as a first language..wanna guess where it came from?

Not to mention that english is taught as a 2nd language by most countrys around the world.

To be able to learn such a complex language surely you must have an high IQ
#19  
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Posts: 23/310
(17-Mar-2003 at 19:49)


Quote:
(Originally posted by DarkSkies X)

Well, lets make our own language..
Haven't internet people made a new language? I have a hard time reading posts that I consider non-English... "lol"
#20  
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