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Posts: 2/4
(26-Nov-2001 at 12:20)
tongue Old time favourite topic: Why beer is better than women

Why a Beer is Better Than a Woman

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You can enjoy a beer all month.
Beer stains wash out.
You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
When beer goes flat you toss it out.
Beer is never late.
HANGOVERS go away.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never has a headache.
After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
A beer ALWAYS goes down easy.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer.
A beer is always wet.
Beer doesn't demand equality.
A beer doesn't care when you come.
You can have a beer in public.
A frigid beer is a good beer.
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
Beer always comes in multiples of six.
Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle.
A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty.
When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
Beer looks the same in the morning.
Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
Beer doesn't get cramps.
Beer doesn't have a mother.
Beer doesn't have morals.
Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
Beer always listens and never argues.
Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.
Beer doesn't demand legality.
Beer is never overweight.
If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
Beer doesn't need much closet space.
Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
Beer never changes its mind.
Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
Beer never asks you to change the station.
Beer doesn't make you go shopping.
Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
Beer is always easy to pick up.
Big, fat beers are nice to have.
Beer doesn't pout or play games.
Beer NEVER says no.
Beer is easy to get into.
Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
Beer doesn't wear a bra.
Beer doesn't mind getting dirty.
Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
Beer doesn't live with its mother.
Beer doesn't blow you off.
Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
Beer doesn't mind football season.
A beer won't make you go to church.
A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
A beer doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are "cute".
If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson".
A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on your favorite radio station.
A beer won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.
If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a beer, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
A beer won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
A beer won't smoke in your car.
A beer won't argue that there's no difference between shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky.
A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
A beer will actually *support* belching and farting and share your enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.
A beer is always ready to leave on time.
A beer never fishes for compliments.
Some beers (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
Beer tastes *good*.
If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then decide to drink it, the beer won't accuse you of "date rape".
A beer won't raise any objections to an evening of watching "John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.
An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
A beer won't make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store.
A beer won't accuse you of lying when you say you read Penthouse "just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the beer won't accuse you of it.
A beer won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the Nationa Football League.
A beer won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
A beer will *never* make you go to a Swedish movie.
A beer will *never* make you turn off "Fists of Fury Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
A beer won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say "Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".
A beer won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.
When you're through with a beer, the thought of another beer doesn't make you ill.

Last edited by SM Tengu, 26-Nov-2001 at 12:57.
Edit reason: Changed the topic to small letters. Please don't make topics with bald letters.
#1  
View Public Profile Find more posts by asmly14 Add asmly14 to your Buddy List Reply with Quote
Posts: 2/4
(26-Nov-2001 at 12:21)
grr.. Another 32 Reason why BEER IS BETTER.......

Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women

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1. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
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2. Beer stains wash out.
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3. You don't have to wine and dine beer.
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4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball/soccer/basketball/etc.
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5. When your beer goes flat, you toss it out.
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6. Beer is never late.
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7. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
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8. Hangovers go away.
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9. Beer labels come off without a fight.
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10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
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11. Beer never has a headache.
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12. After you've had a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
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13. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer on your breath.
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14. If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
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15. A beer always goes down easy.
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16. You can have more than one beer in a night and not feel guilty.
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17. You can share a beer with your friends.
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18. You always know you're the first one to pop a beer.
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19. Beer is always wet.
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20. Beer doesn't demand equality.
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21. You can have a beer in public.
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22. A beer doesn't care when you come.
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23. A frigid beer is a good beer.
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24. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
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25. If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
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26. Good beer costs less than good women.
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27. A beer doesn't change its mind after you've taken off its top.
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28. Beer doesn't expect an hour of foreplay before satisfying you.
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29. A beer looks as good in the morning as it did when the bar closed.
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30. You can't get thrown in jail for having a beer under the grandstand at halftime.
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31. Afterwards, a beer won't feel guilty, cry, propose, call her mother, your ex-wife or her therapist.
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32. Beer never bugs you to have little beers.
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32. If your preference for a type of beer changes, you don't have to get involved with lawyers.
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32. Beers don't want a lasting relationship.
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32. A beer doesn't make you sleep onthe couch after you've taken six other beers on a picnic.
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32. After you've put your lips to a beer, a beer never asks, "What are you doing?"
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32. Finishing a beer in 3 seconds is something to be proud of.
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32. You can have a beer on your lunch hour.
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32. A beer never wants to stay up afterwards talking about respect.
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32. A beer won't slap you in the face for putting it between your legs at a drive-in movie.
#2  
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Posts: 2/4
(26-Nov-2001 at 12:23)
Reasons why a Motorcycle is better than women

Reasons why a Motorcycle is better than women


1. If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apoligize
before you can ride it again.
2. If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
3. If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
4. If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to
correct it.
5. If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
6. If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
7. If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
8. If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
9. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
10. Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
11. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
12. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
13. Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
14. Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
15. Motorcycles don't have parents.
16. Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
17. Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy
Motorcycle magazines.
18. Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
19. Motorcycles last longer.
20. Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
21. Motorcycles' curves never sag.
22. New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them,
you don't get them.
23. When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
24. You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
25. You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
26. You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
27. You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
28. You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
29. You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
30. You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
31. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
32. You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and
that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
33. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your
Motorcycle.
34. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
35. You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old
one is _really_ worn.
36. Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
37. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump
it.

Just found it frmo the Internet ...........
But I still think cucumber don't match againts the male

Last edited by asmly14, 26-Nov-2001 at 12:25.
#3  
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Posts: 2/4
(26-Nov-2001 at 12:28)
Top 10 rejection lines given by women

Top 10 rejection lines given by women
(and what they actually mean):


10) I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")
9) There's a slight difference in our ages.
(You are one Jurassic geezer.)
8) I'm not attracted to you in *that* way.
(You are the ugliest dork I have ever laid eyes upon.)
7) My life is too complicated right now.
(I'm waiting for a rich sugar daddy.)
6) I've got a boyfriend.
(I've got a vibrator.)
5) I don't date men where I work.
(Hey, bud; I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same *solar system*, much less the same building.)
4) It's not you, it's me.
(It's not me, it's you.)
3) I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2) I'm celibate.
(One look at you and I'm ready to swear off men altogether.)
... and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)

1) Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)
#4  
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Donated $16.20
(26-Nov-2001 at 13:02)


sunglasses

Since when were this an old time favourite topic? Never has been here.
#5  
View Public Profile Find more posts by SM Tengu Add SM Tengu to your Buddy List Reply with Quote
Posts: 3/7
(26-Nov-2001 at 21:02)
lazy smile

After reading all that, I still think women are better then anything.
#6  
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(Posted as Sir Mountain)
Posts: 13/396
(26-Nov-2001 at 23:49)
sunglasses

I don't think a beer is better than a woman.....maybe a motorcykle but not a beer
Women are most of the time great
#7  
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Posts: 378/1008
Donated $5.16
(27-Nov-2001 at 01:03)


Why women are better then beer

Why women are better then beer - You can have sex with them - end of story
#8  
View Public Profile Visit Tiny Tim's homepage Find more posts by Tiny Tim Add Tiny Tim to your Buddy List Reply with Quote
(User is Banned)
Posts: 96/328
(27-Nov-2001 at 01:22)


Women...
Beer...
Motorcycles...

Personally, I think they're all great!

But I'd rather have a Sports Car, and live in a rural area with few cops, and a nearby race track which has miles of 7 lane straight road (A racers dream)

(Have half the equation, and I have continual access to the other half!!!)

In the future everything is Chrome.
-SpongeTron Squarepants
#9  
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Posts: 1882/1936
(27-Nov-2001 at 02:01)
Hey... Those bad rejection lines are the same one that girls give me!
#10  
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(Posted as Vision of Hope)
Posts: 247/577
Donated $7.39
(27-Nov-2001 at 07:44)


poor thing , but some are totally wrong though

-= Il y a toujours espoir :: There Is Always Hope =-
~ Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not.
Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it.
Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away. ~

This too, shall pass.. You will not be just a memory.
#11  
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Posts: 151
(27-Nov-2001 at 12:34)
smile

Why dont you tell us the real ones then VoH ??
#12  
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(Posted as lord sputtnick)
Posts: 443/2214
(27-Nov-2001 at 14:04)


That lines are good but I really would like to hear them(and what the mean ) from YOU Hopey

Plz

It's alright to hate George W. Bush
SM-barkeep, Rest in Peace YYA - Alliance still ruin utopian fun, The god of typos, WARNING!!! Posting at UT makes addictive

#13  
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(Posted as OPR)
Posts: 18/185
Donated $0.56
(27-Nov-2001 at 14:56)


yes, tell us.
please,please,please,please,please,please,please!

This is my signature.
boring isn't it?
#14  
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Posts: 2/4
(02-Dec-2001 at 10:41)
tongue Beer Is Not As Good As Sex

We are born to have sex, and so do animals. Nothing is as great as sex, sometimes it becomes lust.

Last edited by asmly14, 02-Dec-2001 at 10:45.
#15  
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Posts: 0
(06-Dec-2001 at 04:52)
teeth

I think women is better than beer because you could have sex
beer can't
#16  
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(Posted as Vision of Hope)
Posts: 247/577
Donated $7.39
(07-Dec-2001 at 15:38)


oh well okie .. in my next post in here i will tell you

-= Il y a toujours espoir :: There Is Always Hope =-
~ Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not.
Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it.
Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away. ~

This too, shall pass.. You will not be just a memory.
#17  
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(Posted as lord sputtnick)
Posts: 498/2214
(08-Dec-2001 at 21:46)


Okay Hopey I am waiting...That question burns just to long under my fingernails

It's alright to hate George W. Bush
SM-barkeep, Rest in Peace YYA - Alliance still ruin utopian fun, The god of typos, WARNING!!! Posting at UT makes addictive

#18  
View Public Profile Visit Russian Sputnik's homepage Find more posts by Russian Sputnik Add Russian Sputnik to your Buddy List Reply with Quote
(Posted as Vision of Hope)
Posts: 247/577
Donated $7.39
(09-Dec-2001 at 15:56)


you have to tell me all over what the sentences are . i 4got them and r too lazy to look 4 them :P

-= Il y a toujours espoir :: There Is Always Hope =-
~ Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not.
Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it.
Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away. ~

This too, shall pass.. You will not be just a memory.
#19  
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(Posted as The Terrorist)
Posts: 511/2214
(09-Dec-2001 at 15:59)


Simply tell me what womens are talking in real, what they want to hear and what else they want! Plz

It's alright to hate George W. Bush
SM-barkeep, Rest in Peace YYA - Alliance still ruin utopian fun, The god of typos, WARNING!!! Posting at UT makes addictive

#20  
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