Utopia Temple
Main Forum Page Register an Account for Free! Calendar Frequently Asked Questions about this Board View New Posts Advanced Search Login
  Utopia Temple Forums > General Discussions > The Lunatic Asylum

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »
Post New Thread Closed Thread
Author Thread
Old akk
Posts: 4/4
(07-Aug-2003 at 22:47)
Proof that God exists!

Heres the First 50.
if this doesn't prove god exists...well..then...
maybe he doesn't

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

Over Three Hundred Proofs of Godís Existence

TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists.
(2) If God exists, then if reason exists then God exists.
(3) Reason exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

COSMOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) If I say something must have a cause, it has a cause.
(2) I say the universe must have a cause.
(3) Therefore, the universe has a cause.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) I define God to be X.
(2) Since I can conceive of X, X must exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) I can conceive of a perfect God.
(2) One of the qualities of perfection is existence.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists.
(2) God, existing, is either necessary or unnecessary.
(3) God is not unnecessary, therefore God must be necessary.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) Check out the world/universe/giraffe. Isn't it complex?
(2) Only God could have made them so complex.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BEAUTY (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT II)
(1) Isn't that baby/sunset/flower/tree beautiful?
(2) Only God could have made them so beautiful.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES
(1) My aunt had cancer.
(2) The doctors gave her all these horrible treatments.
(3) My aunt prayed to God and now she doesn't have cancer.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

MORAL ARGUMENT (I)
(1) Person X, a well-known atheist, was morally inferior to the rest of us.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

MORAL ARGUMENT (II)
(1) In my younger days I was a cursing, drinking, smoking, gambling, child-molesting, thieving, murdering, bed-wetting bastard.
(2) That all changed once I became religious.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to die.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE
(1) [arbitrary passage from OT]
(2) [arbitrary passage from NT]
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INTELLIGENCE
(1) Look, there's really no point in me trying to explain the whole thing to you stupid atheists -- it's too complicated for you to understand. God exists whether you like it or not.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John ##:##.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BELIEF
(1) If God exists, then I should believe in Him.
(2) I believe in God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INTIMIDATION
(1) See this bonfire?
(2) Therefore, God exists.

PARENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) My mommy and daddy told me that God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM NUMBERS
(1) Millions and millions of people believe in God.
(2) They can't all be wrong, can they?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ABSURDITY
(1) Maranathra!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM ECONOMY
(1) God exists, you bastards!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

BOATWRIGHT'S ARGUMENT
(1) Ha ha ha.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

DORE'S ARGUMENT
(1) I forgot to take my meds.
(2) Therefore, I AM CHRIST!!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM GUITAR MASTERY
(1) Eric Clapton is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INTERNET AUTHORITY
(1) There is a website that successfully argues for the existence of God.
(2) Here is the URL.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPREHENSIBILITY
(1) Flabble glurk zoom boink blubba snurgleschnortz ping!
(2) No one has ever refuted (1).
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN EVANGELISM
(1) Telling people that God exists makes me filthy rich.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

MITCHELL'S ARGUMENT
(1) The Christian God exists.
(2) Therefore, all worldviews which don't assume the Christian God's existence are false and incomprehensible.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (I)
(1) Atheists are spiritually blind.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM BLINDNESS (II)
(1) God is love.
(2) Love is blind.
(3) Ray Charles is blind.
(4) Therefore, Ray Charles is God.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM FALLIBILITY
(1) Human reasoning is inherently flawed.
(2) Therefore, there is no reasonable way to challenge a proposition.
(3) I propose that God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM SMUGNESS
(1) God exists.
(2) I don't give a crap whether you believe it or not; I have better things to do than to try to convince you morons.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM MANIFESTATIONS
(1) If you turn your head sideways and squint a little, you can see an image of a bearded face in that tortilla.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

SLATHER'S ARGUMENT
(1) My toaster is God.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOMPLETE DEVASTATION
(1) A plane crashed killing 143 passengers and crew.
(2) But one child survived with only third-degree burns.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBLE WORLDS
(1) If things had been different, then things would be different.
(2) That would be bad.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM SHEER WILL
(1) I DO believe in God! I DO believe in God! I do I do I do I DO believe in God!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM NONBELIEF
(1) The majority of the world's population are nonbelievers in Christianity.
(2) This is just what Satan intended.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM POST-DEATH EXPERIENCE
(1) Person X died an atheist.
(2) He now realizes his mistake.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
(1) God loves you.
(2) How could you be so heartless to not believe in him?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENT BABBLE
(1) See that person spazzing on the church floor babbling incoherently?
(2) That's how infinite wisdom reveals itself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (I)
(1) The human spirit exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

OPRAH'S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) Check out this video segment.
(2) Now how can anyone watch that and NOT believe in God?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

CALVINISTIC ARGUMENT
(1) If God exists, then he will let me watch you be tortured forever.
(2) I rather like that idea.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM CROCKERY
(1) Pots don't go around giving orders to the potter.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM MASS PRODUCTION
(1) Barbie dolls were created.
(2) If Barbie dolls were created, then so were trees.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM PAROCHIALISM
(1) God is everywhere.
(2) We haven't been everywhere to prove he's not there.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM UPPERCASE ASSERTION
(1) GOD EXISTS! GET USED TO IT!
(2) Therefore, God exists.

ARGUMENT FROM INFINITE REGRESS
(1) Ask atheists what caused the Big Bang.
(2) Regardless of their answer, ask how they know this.
(3) Continue process until the atheist admits he doesn't know the answer to one of your questions.
(4) You win!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
#1  
View Public Profile Find more posts by akk Add akk to your Buddy List
Posts: 3/6
Donated $0.80
(07-Aug-2003 at 22:55)
*falls over laughing* I don't know if this was suppose to be funny but I read about 30 of them and they are hilarius! There is not a peice of evidence in there and total ramblings.

*heavy sigh* Alrigt I'l calm down. I have never understood what the point is to find out if "god" exists. The universe was created. By what? If it existed then whos to say it exists now? Why does it have to be a creatur, why not a state of matter instead?

Besides it is horrably egotystical for anyone to believe that praying to a single being will bring about happiness. Is that one being suppose to devote there life to listen to you and only you out of the entire multiverse of dimensions and untold quantity of habitated worlds?
#2  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Lanowar Add Lanowar to your Buddy List
Posts: 54/226
(07-Aug-2003 at 22:56)
uh...if you say so
#3  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Svensken Add Svensken to your Buddy List
(Posted as Elan Duckrider)
Posts: 937/1960
Donated $47.44
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:01)


Well, that shut me up. I'm converting.
#4  
View Public Profile Visit Elan SsM's homepage Find more posts by Elan SsM Add Elan SsM to your Buddy List
Old akk
Posts: 4/4
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:03)
praise jesus, praise HIS holy name. we have converted one of the sinners to a life in the light.

Quote:
(Originally posted by Elan Duckrider)

Well, that shut me up. I'm converting.
#5  
View Public Profile Find more posts by akk Add akk to your Buddy List
(Posted as Swifty BoD)
Global Moderator
Posts: 250/1376
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:23)


Proof? Hah, what proof?

A load of jumbled writing?

Please, give us some real proof. If your god exists, why doesnt he show himself to us? Maybe because of the fact he doesnt exist in the first place? Maybe because all them centuries ago, people needed answers on why they existed, and how they existed. And so, nobody could give them answers. So in the end they thought up a nice little fairy tale with gods and angels and wrote it all down in a nice little book? Ptsh.

Shame they didnt have better science understanding back then, would of saved alot of wasted lives due to wars and other attrocities that occur because of it, aswell as wasting away peoples lives, convincing them that there is some higher power.

........Why does the thin grey strand......Ah, you will understand;.......................I should find, for a reprimand
.......Floating up from the forgotten......When I carried my mother downstairs,.....To my gaiety, a few long grey hairs
......Cigarette between my fingers,......A few times only, at the beginning..........On the breast of my coat; and one by one
.....Why does it trouble me?.............Of her soft-foot malady,.......................I watched them float up the dark chimney.

Last edited by Swifty, 07-Aug-2003 at 23:24.
Edit reason: ..=)
#6  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Swifty Add Swifty to your Buddy List
Posts: 2/111
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:30)


Re: Proof that God exists!

Quote:
TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists.
(2) If God exists, then if reason exists then God exists.
(3) Reason exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
is this meant for sarcasm? God is beyond reason so you cannot simply say that if reason exists, God also exists. yes, God exists. period. His existence cannot be crammed up into proofs because it's beyond words and human reasoning. and these items you presented doesn't seem to be correlated to God's existence...
#7  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Ansantimus Add Ansantimus to your Buddy List
(Posted as Elan Duckrider)
Posts: 937/1960
Donated $47.44
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:47)


Quote:
(Originally posted by Swifty BoD)

Proof? Hah, what proof?

A load of jumbled writing?

Please, give us some real proof. If your god exists, why doesnt he show himself to us? Maybe because of the fact he doesnt exist in the first place? Maybe because all them centuries ago, people needed answers on why they existed, and how they existed. And so, nobody could give them answers. So in the end they thought up a nice little fairy tale with gods and angels and wrote it all down in a nice little book? Ptsh.

Shame they didnt have better science understanding back then, would of saved alot of wasted lives due to wars and other attrocities that occur because of it, aswell as wasting away peoples lives, convincing them that there is some higher power.
*hands you a dictionary*

Look up the word satire. I'll wait here.

*taps foot*

Dig it?

Quote:
(Originally posted by Ansantimus)

is this meant for sarcasm? God is beyond reason so you cannot simply say that if reason exists, God also exists. yes, God exists. period. His existence cannot be crammed up into proofs because it's beyond words and human reasoning. and these items you presented doesn't seem to be correlated to God's existence...
So what you are saying is this:

ARGUMENTS FROM ARBITRARYNESS
(1) God exists.
(2) To prove this I will say that its because words and human reasoning are beyond him.
(3) Except for the Bible.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

(Hey, now its 301 proofs!)
#8  
View Public Profile Visit Elan SsM's homepage Find more posts by Elan SsM Add Elan SsM to your Buddy List
Posts: 7/15
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:47)


these are not proof, they are arguments and realy bad arguments

Don't forget, looking stupid is always temporary but being stupid is forever.
Time to live, time to die; it is time to fight.
#9  
View Public Profile Find more posts by alleluia Add alleluia to your Buddy List
Posts: 8/18
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:50)
who took time to write that, I couldn't be bothered to read it. Look a load of rubbish from the beginning.

plus no one can prove he can or cannot exsist, just a fact of Faith.
#10  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Deadlyiced Add Deadlyiced to your Buddy List
(Posted as Elan Duckrider)
Posts: 937/1960
Donated $47.44
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:50)


*hammers head against the floor*

*hands alleluia and Deadlyiced a dictionary*

You two look up the word satire, too.

*taps foot impatiently*

I'll wait here.

Last edited by Elan Morin, 07-Aug-2003 at 23:52.
#11  
View Public Profile Visit Elan SsM's homepage Find more posts by Elan SsM Add Elan SsM to your Buddy List
Posts: 6/6
Donated $0.80
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:52)
*looks at Elan*

They arnt very smart are they?
#12  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Lanowar Add Lanowar to your Buddy List
(Posted as Swifty BoD)
Global Moderator
Posts: 251/1376
(07-Aug-2003 at 23:54)


*hands Elan a dictionary*

Look up the word sarcasm. I'll wait here.

*taps foot*

Dig it?

........Why does the thin grey strand......Ah, you will understand;.......................I should find, for a reprimand
.......Floating up from the forgotten......When I carried my mother downstairs,.....To my gaiety, a few long grey hairs
......Cigarette between my fingers,......A few times only, at the beginning..........On the breast of my coat; and one by one
.....Why does it trouble me?.............Of her soft-foot malady,.......................I watched them float up the dark chimney.
#13  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Swifty Add Swifty to your Buddy List
(Posted as Elan Duckrider)
Posts: 937/1960
Donated $47.44
(08-Aug-2003 at 00:13)


Quote:
Proof? Hah, what proof?

A load of jumbled writing?

Please, give us some real proof. If your god exists, why doesnt he show himself to us? Maybe because of the fact he doesnt exist in the first place? Maybe because all them centuries ago, people needed answers on why they existed, and how they existed. And so, nobody could give them answers. So in the end they thought up a nice little fairy tale with gods and angels and wrote it all down in a nice little book? Ptsh.

Shame they didnt have better science understanding back then, would of saved alot of wasted lives due to wars and other attrocities that occur because of it, aswell as wasting away peoples lives, convincing them that there is some higher power.
Do you honestly believe the Guru of Sarcasm cannot tell the difference between scorn and sarcasm? Down, ye fool! BOW TO ME!

*thumbs nose in your general direction*
#14  
View Public Profile Visit Elan SsM's homepage Find more posts by Elan SsM Add Elan SsM to your Buddy List
(Posted as Swifty BoD)
Global Moderator
Posts: 251/1376
(08-Aug-2003 at 00:16)


Quote:
Do you honestly believe the Guru of Sarcasm cannot tell the difference between scorn and sarcasm? Down, ye fool! BOW TO ME!
Indeed, I, Master of all Sarcasm, believe you cannt tell the difference between scorn and sarcasm.

*pats*

T'is ok, for I, Master of all Sarcasm will teach ye the fine arts of sarcasm.

........Why does the thin grey strand......Ah, you will understand;.......................I should find, for a reprimand
.......Floating up from the forgotten......When I carried my mother downstairs,.....To my gaiety, a few long grey hairs
......Cigarette between my fingers,......A few times only, at the beginning..........On the breast of my coat; and one by one
.....Why does it trouble me?.............Of her soft-foot malady,.......................I watched them float up the dark chimney.
#15  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Swifty Add Swifty to your Buddy List
Posts: 90/898
(08-Aug-2003 at 00:17)


Quote:
(Originally posted by Elan Duckrider)

*hands you a dictionary*

Look up the word satire. I'll wait here.

*taps foot*

Dig it?



So what you are saying is this:

ARGUMENTS FROM ARBITRARYNESS
(1) God exists.
(2) To prove this I will say that its because words and human reasoning are beyond him.
(3) Except for the Bible.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

(Hey, now its 301 proofs!)
i think what Ansantimus means is that no one can prove God's existence.

...but then no one can disprove his existence also. if i remember correctly, there's another thread for this by Beige Tangerine.
#16  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Aletheia Add Aletheia to your Buddy List
(Posted as Elan Duckrider)
Posts: 937/1960
Donated $47.44
(08-Aug-2003 at 00:18)


I am the Guru of Sarcasm. This is proved by my forum title. You claim you are the Master of Sarcasm, but have no proof. I say that, SURE, you're the Master of Sarcasm. Therefore you're not the Master of Sarcasm.

Genius.
#17  
View Public Profile Visit Elan SsM's homepage Find more posts by Elan SsM Add Elan SsM to your Buddy List
(Posted as Swifty BoD)
Global Moderator
Posts: 251/1376
(08-Aug-2003 at 00:20)


Quote:
I am the Guru of Sarcasm. This is proved by my forum title. You claim you are the Master of Sarcasm, but have no proof. I say that, SURE, you're the Master of Sarcasm. Therefore you're not the Master of Sarcasm.

T'is but a shame ye does not understand the ways of sarcasm.
For ye cannot disaprove I am not the Master of all Sarcasm, thus meaning ye is wrong.

........Why does the thin grey strand......Ah, you will understand;.......................I should find, for a reprimand
.......Floating up from the forgotten......When I carried my mother downstairs,.....To my gaiety, a few long grey hairs
......Cigarette between my fingers,......A few times only, at the beginning..........On the breast of my coat; and one by one
.....Why does it trouble me?.............Of her soft-foot malady,.......................I watched them float up the dark chimney.
#18  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Swifty Add Swifty to your Buddy List
(Posted as Elan Duckrider)
Posts: 937/1960
Donated $47.44
(08-Aug-2003 at 00:22)


You're right. I cannot disprove that you are not the Master of Sarcasm.
#19  
View Public Profile Visit Elan SsM's homepage Find more posts by Elan SsM Add Elan SsM to your Buddy List
Old Ens
(Posted as NecroQuantum)
Posts: 64/116
(08-Aug-2003 at 00:22)
Quote:
ARGUMENT FROM FEAR
(1) If there is no God then we're all going to die.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
We all are going to die, it's a fact.

I think it's all a joke anyway...

The prophetized one has returned.

No, I didn't post. It just looks like it...
Even in the darkest hour, a light will flicker.
#20  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Ens Add Ens to your Buddy List
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Forum Jump:


All times are GMT+1. The time now is 06:08.

Powered by vBulletin (modified)
Copyright ©2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.