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(Posted as Elan Morin)
Posts: 1255/1960
Donated $47.44
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:30)


Presenting the Future of the Future

Hear me, hear me, you people craving answers! I know you have spiritual needs, needs for enlightenment and wisdom! You need to know the future, you need advice that is relevant to you and only you!*



Well, you've come to the right place! Elan will give you your horoscopes, visions of your future, and even biographies of your past lives- and for free! Elan is happy to provide these services, because it gives Elan something to do, which, alas, being omniscient doesn't in and of itself provide for.



Please note that for me to give you your horoscopes I'll need to know what month you were born in, what year you were born in, and your favorite smell. Yes, I know being omniscient should provide that for me, but being omniscient is a lot of work, so I'd rather not.







* Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars can have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid scientific documented evidence so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.
#1  
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Posts: 40/77
Donated $1.36
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:34)


OOO do me first!

Jan 6 1988, favorite smell: Freshly drawn blood


Devoted Disturbed, Kittie, KoRn, Wumpscut, Slayer, Rammstein fan.

Made UT's Top 25 Women list ...damn right I'm proud!

come keep me company
#2  
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Posts: 346/358
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:37)


*steps into the dark room* ooh creapy..

*sits down* I was born in january 3, 1988 and my favorite smell is gasoline.

By the way, dont tell me my past. I already know how awesome that was.

edit: no way party animal! my birthday is only three days away from yours! *high fives PA*

im sarcastic and lazy, and proud of it
join S.P.A.M. today!Kyrina's other slave
if somethings hard to do, then its not worth doing-Homer

Last edited by elvenarrow, 30-Apr-2004 at 02:39.
Edit reason: surely you didnt read my post
#3  
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Posts: 1121/3642
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:49)


February 3rd, 1986
Favourite Smell: Fire

If all else fails, call someone a troll.
that can be fixed... /
#4  
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Posts: 40/77
Donated $1.36
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:50)


Quote:
no way party animal! my birthday is only three days away from yours! *high fives PA*
Ahhh! It is the final sign of the apocalypse!
Oh and by the way... There was a 300 year typo there :P
*hugs*


Devoted Disturbed, Kittie, KoRn, Wumpscut, Slayer, Rammstein fan.

Made UT's Top 25 Women list ...damn right I'm proud!

come keep me company
#5  
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Posts: 346/358
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:54)


*is blind*
300-year-old-typo??

*has quizzical look on face*

im sarcastic and lazy, and proud of it
join S.P.A.M. today!Kyrina's other slave
if somethings hard to do, then its not worth doing-Homer
#6  
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(Posted as Elan Morin)
Posts: 1256/1960
Donated $47.44
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:55)


Quote:
(Originally posted by Party Animal)

OOO do me first!

Jan 6 1988, favorite smell: Freshly drawn blood
Party Animal, you are a Capricorn!

Capricorns are known for their fondness for all living things. If you get our drift. The stars reccomend you wear protection. Now is a good time for young, energetic Capricorns to start a journey, preferably one away from the total catastrophic destruction of the world you were planning on journeying toward, but the stars can't be picky. You'll make many friends today, but it won't last, as your personality will scare them away eventually.
#7  
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Posts: 40/77
Donated $1.36
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:55)


Dont worry about it you...
*patiently awaits the return of Elan the Omniscient before thread is overrun by noob colonies*

Ugh...edit because my post came a bit too late.

So true Omniscient One, so true...


Devoted Disturbed, Kittie, KoRn, Wumpscut, Slayer, Rammstein fan.

Made UT's Top 25 Women list ...damn right I'm proud!

come keep me company

Last edited by Party Animal, 30-Apr-2004 at 02:59.
#8  
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(Posted as Elan Morin)
Posts: 1256/1960
Donated $47.44
(30-Apr-2004 at 02:58)


Quote:
(Originally posted by elvenarrow)

*steps into the dark room* ooh creapy..

*sits down* I was born in january 3, 1988 and my favorite smell is gasoline.

By the way, dont tell me my past. I already know how awesome that was.

edit: no way party animal! my birthday is only three days away from yours! *high fives PA*
elvenarrow, you are a Capricorn!

Capricorns are creative people, which makes the stars wonder if someone screwed up when they recorded the date of your birth. This week is an excellent time to try new things, such as bathing or not blowing your nose on other people's shirts. Expect to make an interesting discovery about yourself today. Note that the stars do not say anything about this being a pleasant or useful discovery.
#9  
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Posts: 346/358
(30-Apr-2004 at 03:02)


yeah it is about time for my monthly shower

wisely said, oh great ruler of all

im sarcastic and lazy, and proud of it
join S.P.A.M. today!Kyrina's other slave
if somethings hard to do, then its not worth doing-Homer
#10  
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(Posted as Elan Morin)
Posts: 1256/1960
Donated $47.44
(30-Apr-2004 at 03:02)


Quote:
(Originally posted by Greeney)

February 3rd, 1986
Favourite Smell: Fire
Greeney, you are an Aquarius!

Aquarius are known for their friendly, cheerful dispositions, something like how the mentally subnormal are known for their friendly, cheerful disposistions. Now is the time for romance in the workplace, which might frighten you because you work in a petting zoo- but try to remain open-minded. Tommorow you will get over your fear of dieing for good.
#11  
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Posts: 505/557
(30-Apr-2004 at 03:05)


1984 10 october,
Fav smell: peppermint

Please come and visit my Homepage
The Eternally Mourning Phoenix
Avid Shakepeare Fan
Participant in Bringing fine Babes to UT..Here
#12  
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(Posted as DoorKnob)
(User is Banned)
Posts: 797/1036
(30-Apr-2004 at 03:13)


march....3....1986
favourite smell: yeah. i'll have to say it. my ex. she is my favourite smell. at least right now.

Dismal dreams are my reality
#13  
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Posts: 201/651
(30-Apr-2004 at 03:21)


September 1st, 1970 (A.D. not B.C. )
favorite smell: fear

"It is one of the most remarkable things that in all of the biological sciences there is no clue as to the necessity of death." - Richard Feynman


"We have a duty to die." - Dick Lamm, former Governor of Colorado
#14  
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Posts: 9/186
(30-Apr-2004 at 03:52)


October 19, 1985.

Favorite smell: chocolate.
#15  
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(Posted as Brizahd)
Posts: 369/468
(30-Apr-2004 at 04:22)


December 26, 1973

favorite smell is peaches
#16  
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Posts: 1222/1323
Donated $1.12
(30-Apr-2004 at 04:41)
I gotta see this :P

22 dec '86

favorite smell: seawater
#17  
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Posts: 281/908
(30-Apr-2004 at 04:43)


12 of may 1984

fav smell = mothballs
#18  
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(Posted as Elan Morin)
Posts: 1256/1960
Donated $47.44
(30-Apr-2004 at 05:16)


Elan may be all-knowing, but he gets tired. He shall handle all of your fortune-telling first thing bright and early three in the afternoon tommorow.
#19  
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Posts: 2/8
(Post has been warned)
Donated $20.00
(30-Apr-2004 at 06:46)
;-
#20  
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