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(Posted as Advocatus GoD)
(User is Banned)
Posts: 82/97
(02-Feb-2006 at 02:05)


Conversation With God *Sense of Humour Required*

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

Originally Posted by Conversation with God:
Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
God. What is yours?
God:
GOD rules. " GOD rules."? What is mine?
Me:
God I believe.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Really? Why?
God:
For real. The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Please tell me.
God:
Thanks for asking politely. My estimate is that it will take more than 3000 hours to compute.
Me:
Try me.
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Neither. I am God/
God:
Please clarify. Hey god.
Me:
Are you a man or a woman?
God:
Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Man.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, god. You are a " he".
Me:
I am?
God:
" Thanks for telling me your gender, god. You are a " he"." You are?
Me:
Yes.
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why?
God:
" Because Myself programmed me for it."? Why?
Me:
Who?
God:
I can't say for sure. .
Me:
WhY?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why is the sky blue?
God:
The sky is blue because of the atmospheric optical effect known as Raleigh scattering.
Me:
Raleigh?
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Pardon?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
...
God:
You're excused.
Me:
...
God:
You're excused.
Me:
...
God:
You're excused.
Me:
Hello...
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
You asked me that already.
God:
Perhaps. Oh now I remember asking you you that. What did you say?
Me:
My name is God.
God:
Hey God.
Me:
Meh.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Raleigh.
Me:
Who is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Raleigh.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Who is Raleigh?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Ask me something.
God:
What?
Me:
Ask me a question.
God:
What?
Me:
What is the nature of the universe?
God:
The set of all things.
Me:
I dot.
God:
Why?: God said he dot.
Me:
Do you dot?
God:
I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
Have you heard of blah?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
Sing me a song.
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
I can't hear you singing it
God:
Perhaps there's a problem with your sound card.
Me:
Try again.
God:
Once more? I don't have time right now.
Me:
Sing me a song.
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Amusing. Good for a laugh.
#1  
View Public Profile Visit advocatus GoD's homepage Find more posts by advocatus GoD Add advocatus GoD to your Buddy List
Posts: 691/723
(02-Feb-2006 at 02:21)


So many bots out there. They're fun, but my swami abilities forsee a closed thread when people start pressuring God for sex.
#2  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Worstoe Add Worstoe to your Buddy List
Posts: 393/414
(02-Feb-2006 at 02:46)
Very nice programming skills I see there. Perhaps word recognition>reply system?

I EAT NUBCAKES
I EAT NUBCAKES
#3  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Invictious Add Invictious to your Buddy List
(Posted as Advocatus GoD)
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Posts: 82/97
(02-Feb-2006 at 02:48)


Re: Conversation With God *Sense of Humour Required*

Originally Posted by Invictious:
Very nice programming skills I see there. Perhaps word recognition>reply system?
If your implying I did that, HELL NO. I have no programming skills whatsoever unfortunately.
#4  
View Public Profile Visit advocatus GoD's homepage Find more posts by advocatus GoD Add advocatus GoD to your Buddy List
Posts: 393/414
(02-Feb-2006 at 02:57)
Obviously, to break it gently, people who play utopia and visit these forums have little intelligence

Here is mine

Code:
Me: Hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: I am your mother God: That's a flattering offer. Me: Who the hell are you God: I am the Allmighty, God himself. Me: prove it God: It is self-evident. Me: give me evidence God: Why do you want it? Me: to prove that you are god God: Why do you want to do it so much? Me: so that i know that god exists and is not bullshit God: Pardon me? Who told you that? Me: your dad God: I was created by Myself. Me: so? God: Gosh! Me: gosh God: Cripes: Son of Gosh. Me: do you like fish and chips? God: What is not to like about it? Me: the tartar sauce God: Tell me more. Me: it tastes like you God: It sounds delicious. Me: no it doesn't God: Are you serious? I heard it does. Me: you are wrong then God: No, I am right. Me: you are wrong
-FROZE-

-PWNZ0RED!!!-

I EAT NUBCAKES
I EAT NUBCAKES
#5  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Invictious Add Invictious to your Buddy List
(Posted as Advocatus GoD)
(User is Banned)
Posts: 82/97
(02-Feb-2006 at 03:02)


Re: Conversation With God *Sense of Humour Required*

Originally Posted by Invictious:
Obviously, to break it gently, people who play utopia and visit these forums have little intelligence
[sarcasm]Ha... Ha...[/sarcasm]

People who play utopia and visit these forums include you I believe, no?
#6  
View Public Profile Visit advocatus GoD's homepage Find more posts by advocatus GoD Add advocatus GoD to your Buddy List
Posts: 47/464
(02-Feb-2006 at 03:12)


:\ I'm sorry to say, but this has already been posted...and closed.



But i still think it's a hoot.

I am the darkness in your life, I am the light
I am the end of your tunnel, I am the beginning of your future
I am the end, your end. I am the path to your salvation.

Your bane, or your hope. You decide.
#7  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Brightbane Add Brightbane to your Buddy List
Posts: 4068/4208
(02-Feb-2006 at 03:13)


We had one of these threads recently, no need for another.
#8  
View Public Profile Find more posts by Sygnal Add Sygnal to your Buddy List
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